Vision - Det. Grace Hanadarko/the Process of Change/and a Fresh Take on Gender

I never thought I could think much less SAY that a tv series with a damn angel in it would be one of the most profound pieces of work I've witnessed in a long time - but here we go. Saving Grace stars Holly Hunter - who plays a top-notch Oklahoma City homicide detective leading a wild, audacious life. Her crazy, last chance angel named Earl is walking with her and her colleagues through some of the ghosts of their past and the joys and pain of their present. I can't write this in a way that seems cool. I wish I could. You just have to watch the thing. I watched the entire first season in two days last fall. Today I watched the entire second season. It IS that good.  

The first season Grace wrangles with the fact that she and others were molested by a beloved priest when they were young. The second season shows how all kinds of healing takes time, mistakes, time, lessons, work, backsliding, time, mistakes, steps forward, work, more work, more backsliding, humanity, more humanity, more mistakes, more time and more time. After my watching marathon today I came to a few realizations:

-Change is not an epiphany. It is a process. And the time and mistakes and messiness and backsliding and humanity and more time, time, time that it takes is totally hopeful. Because we need that time during our process of change to give ourselves space to forgive ourselves for being human, and forgive others for the same big offense as well. A TNT TV show is helping me define this. Believe me, I wish it was some noir film I came across in some eclectic cinema.

-The other realization is that this program is exactly what I've been referring to when I say that we need a new voice around gender equality. Hanadarko is undeniably acknowledged an amazing professional and beautifully complex character. The show's creator Nancy Miller  (Nancy Miller???? Why can't her damn name be cool?! How about Solange Montegeaus or something?) and Holly Hunter never miss a chance to depict Hanadarko and the other women on the show as powerful, wise, sexual, hilarious, loyal, strong, vulnerable, layered, textured, goofy, irreverent and HUMAN. It is so powerful, I cry at almost every episode. And here's the other beautiful thing - it is never at the expense of the men on the show. The male characters consistently become more interesting, multifaceted, vulnerable and define masculinity in brand new, deeper ways. How does this show do that? 

How can we all do that?